


All and then most of you, some and now none of you.

by fangirl0verboard



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: All Out War Arc (Walking Dead), Alternate Universe, Anger, Death, Dom Negan (Walking Dead), Enemies, F/M, Fights, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Gentle Negan (Walking Dead), Jealous Negan (Walking Dead), Jealous Rick, Love, Love/Hate, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Nice Negan (Walking Dead), Not Canon Compliant, Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Rick Grimes, Rage, Rick Being an Asshole, Sex, Smut, War, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 16:06:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13593630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl0verboard/pseuds/fangirl0verboard
Summary: Dakota had good intentions and held hope for a future. When she finds herself at the centre of all out war between the man she loves and the man she loved once before, the future starts to seem like a messed up and far-away place.





	1. The Bargaining Chip

**Author's Note:**

> **Not really canon, but some canon. Original female lead character. All Out War story arc and beyond, possible spoilers? Flashbacks!**
> 
> I'm writing something different because I lost my love for the other stories I've been writing and they seem really -meh- now, but I have had positive feedback on them so I'm torn and I might try to get back into them.

" _Where is she_?" Negan mumbled to himself urgently under his breath, before raising his voice louder than he had ever raised it before, "WHERE IS SHE?!"

His voice grunted and boomed, shaking the stoic air and demanding the attention of those in his presence as it bounced off the walls and echoed in their ears.

 

"She was down there with us, Negan. That's the last time I saw her, in the scramble to get ourselves back together inside, _to safety_. I think she was caught in the crossfire." Simon was usually confident and bold, but he knew what he was telling his leader was not what he wanted to hear. He knew Negan would question them further, he knew they should have done whatever it took to keep her safe.

 

"No. _No!_ ” He hissed, “She's not dead! Why weren't you watching?! Why didn’t you get hold of her?" Negan's anger intensified, he held in his anguish, replacing it with rage. He couldn't break, he couldn’t crumble. Not now, not when he needed to appear stronger than ever to fight back against the Alexandrian led army, if his people doubted him, then he was risking everything he had built for one woman.

 

"I did see her." Eugene's voice cracked and wavered as he spoke, he met Negan’s gaze and flinched out of fear as his eyes pierced right through Eugene, awaiting his answer.  
"I saw her alive… but they took her. I saw Rick, at the very last moment he, he grabbed her. I think... I think she was pleading for a ceasefire. I think she thought she could convince him." Eugene braced himself, fearing punishment for witnessing this without preventing it from happening.

 

"Eugene, are you sure?” Simon furrowed his eyebrows, trying to understand, "You really think she approached Rick, when there was full on gunfire and a herd on our back? Why would she do that?"

 

Negan didn’t speak, his gaze was still fixated on Eugene and his chest rose and fell as he panted rage and unseen fear through his lungs, Eugene continued, "You won’t know this, I know you're very close and it may come as a shock to all of you, but she was with us for a while when I was part of Rick's group. Her and Rick, they have some history. When she met you, Negan, times had been rough –  but she walked away before this all started, I remember the day she left Alexandria. She took your side, she didn't agree with Rick anymore, but he still loved her. Now, however... he sees her as just another part of you, the enemy. Rick has Dakota, and I don't rightly know what he'll do with her." Eugene talked quickly, then fell silent.

 

Negan breathed in heavily, before bringing Lucille crashing down on the surface separating him and the others, spreading a shudder of tension and unrest throughout the room. Negan couldn’t blame her for once sleeping with the enemy, after all Eugene was right, that was before. He knew Rick had reached the point where he would stop at nothing to get revenge and end the conflict. Though Negan was confident his strength and numbers would overwhelm Rick, he couldn’t risk losing her. No one could know how afraid he was in that moment, he couldn’t let that fear out so instead he chose rage, and he raised his voice once more.

 

"You're right, that is all news to me Eugene, I had no fucking idea. But she chose _me_ , and now Rick has kidnapped her... my fucking wife - he's even stupider than I thought."

 

* * *

 

The heavy gate into Alexandria was slowly pushed open, it’s guards looming overhead, and the tip of a revolver pressed into the centre of her shoulder blades and urged her forward. A familiar hand settled on her left shoulder steering the way into the compound, and familiar faces stopped to turn their attention to her.

 

“Why are you holding your gun to my back? We both know that you aren’t going to shoot me, and you know I’m not going to fight you.” She whispered under her breath, her voice was small but somehow unafraid.

 

“To make a point. Besides, things have changed now. Things are different.” His voice sounded tired and aged, but it stung her to hear it. No matter what happened before, no matter what her reasons were for leaving, she had loved him.

 

“I’m your bargaining chip.” She laughed nervously and her thoughts raced back to Negan, she knew he would have figured that out already.

 

“Yes. There are people here that see you as something else, however.” Rick warned.

 

“What about you, Rick? What do you see me as?” She stopped moving suddenly, the revolver pressed deeper into her skin and Rick gave a frustrated shake of his head.

 

“Keep walking. Now.” He quietly commanded, but she didn’t move, instead she turned around sharply, causing Rick to step back and aim the gun higher as she spoke with enough volume for those surrounding in the compound to hear.

 

“Everyone is looking at you, Rick. You’re their fearless leader, so why don’t you just fucking kill me now like they all want you to? Why don’t you show them how them how you’re no better than Negan? You started this war Rick, so if I’m the beginning of the end, then just do it – because one or both of you are going to end up dead and I don’t want to be around when that happens.” Dakota panted, heavy with anxiety and anger, she was afraid but she was done with everything.

 

“Koti –“ Rick began, there was caution, but nerve and confusion in his voice.

 

“Koti? Are you fucking kidding me? I thought things were different, Rick?” She lowered her voice and looked Rick directly in the eyes, he shook his head again and looked over to Daryl, who was following behind with his crossbow raised and aimed. Rick motioned to his friend to take over as he lowered his gun and began to walk in the opposite direction.

 

“C’mon.” Daryl grunted as he took hold of Dakota’s arm, and continued to lead her towards the cell. As he began to drag her away, she turned back and called out to Rick.

 

“Why was the safety on, Rick? You can’t fucking kill me with the safety on!” As she spoke Daryl, nudged her sharply.

 

“Don’t make this hard. I hate you for takin’ his side, but I know it ain’ you. You did it cause’ you couldn’t fight back an’ you stayed cause’ it gave us more time, but you should’ve left with me.” Daryl had more sympathy for her than she expected anyone else would.

 

“I’m still sorry.” Dakota sighed. When they reached the cell, she moved into it without fight or protest, and slumped down against the wall. After he locked the door, Daryl turned and left without another word. The room was small but naturally light and full of fresh air, something Dakota was thankful for.

 

Some time passed, enough time for the light to signal that it was late in the afternoon, when Rick Grimes entered the small room. Dakota looked up at him but did not move, he had a small plastic bottle filled with water and a plate with two slices of bread, some cheese an apple and one single cigarette. He pushed the plate through the small gap in the door and sat with Dakota, against the same wall, in the same position on the other side of the bars. For a few moments, he was silent. When Dakota picked up the cigarette, Rick took a box of matches from his pocket, struck one and helped her light it.

 

With the sound of loss in his voice, Rick asked her, “Do you remember the first time we met?”


	2. How it is, how it always will be.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we find out how Rick and Dakota met for the first time, and how they parted ways.

_Their feet tread wearily through the wooded grounds away from the road, they stepped over and among branches and fallen leaves they searched for a place to rest a while. Rick was hesitant to spend too much time sitting around, as his group had split apart, he was worried that they wouldn’t reconvene again, and he was determined to find them._

_“Dad – look, over there and to the right, there’s a cabin or something? That’s a cabin, right?” Carl asked, hopefully. Rick squinted into the distance before nodding at his son._

_“That was a good spot, staring to think I’d have missed that if you hadn’t seen it Carl. We should look, but be careful alright, follow me. If the rest of you stay a bit further off and wait that’s fine, you can watch our backs. Carl, come on.” Rick motioned forward and they both took a slow path around the side of the cabin. It was old and quaint, with a small well and a pond to the side of it. As Rick approached the window at the side of the cabin, he ducked down to position himself under it. Carl followed and copied, after listening for a moment and hearing nothing, he rose up until he could just about see through the window._

_The cabin was empty._

_“Nothing.” He spoke gently, half to himself and half to let Carl know it was safe. Carl walked around the front and gently pulled the door handle._

_“Dad, there’s some blankets and sleeping bags. Someone left a lantern… they look like they’ve been used recently.” Carl moved out of the way to let his Father look inside the cabin, it was small and cosy, more like a woodcutter shed than anything else. It was once someone’s own private retreat, Rick sighed, and turned to wave to the rest of his group to follow._

_“We can rest here?” Carl suggested, when suddenly from a distance, there was a cry for help._

_Before Rick could stop him, Carl had shot off in the direction of the noise._

_“Damnit Carl!” Rick shouted after him as he gave chase, the others in the group picked up speed and darted in the same direction as Rick, and Rick soon found Daryl was neck and neck with him._

_The cry had come from the top of a small hill in a clearing, they were approaching a house. It must have been the same house that had used the cabin, as Carl disappeared around the side of the house, they heard gunshots. “Carl!” Rick yelled again and pushed himself to run as fast as he could._

__  
When Rick turned on the house with Daryl, two bodies lay on the ground, bleeding from their wounds. Carl stood with his gun still aimed at the male who was dead on the ground. The other body was that of a young woman, and there was a third person. The woman who cried for help was crouched over the dead girl’s body, helpless.  
  
“Are there more?” Daryl grunted, turning his back on the scene quickly to provide cover, before the girl spoke.

_“No. There was, one – inside. I got him, but this one chased us,” she wept, “Rosie is dead.”  
For a moment, silence fell. Carl knelt beside the woman and placed his hand on her arm._

_  
“I’m sorry about your friend.” He consoled her, Rick looked on, feeling thankful that his boy was safe, but also appreciating his sons selflessness. Rick approached slowly, the woman looked up at him, her eyes wet and glimmering._

_  
“Thank you,” she sniffed, “Thank you all. I wouldn’t have been able to fight him off. I just wish he hadn’t got Rosie, god damn it. Through all this shit, it was just nice to not be alone.”_

_“What’s your name?” Rick asked gently._

_“Dakota.” She replied, her hand moved slowly to her friends still face, and Rick watched Dakota as she closed the girl’s eyes._

_  
“Dakota… we bury our dead. We’d like to help with that, if that’s alright with you,” Rick held out his hand to help her up, she took it and rose from her feet, nodding silently and wiping her eyes on her sleeve, “My name is Rick. Rick Grimes. This is my son, Carl, and my friend Daryl. There’s more of us just down the hill. You can stay with us, you don’t have to be alone.”_

_“I don’t want to trouble you Rick, I’m just another person to protect.” Dakota gave a resigned sigh. Rick shook his head._

_“We protect one another, that’s just how it is, and how it always will be.”_

_* * *_

“Of course, I remember, you saved my life that day. Why do you have to bring that up?” Dakota asked, slowly pulling on her cigarette.

 

“I think about it a lot,” Rick replied, “I wondered if you did too.”

 

“Rick…” Dakota tried to stop him but he had something to say, and he was going to say it, no matter what. When Dakota left Alexandria, it was sudden and without much explanation, even those she was close too couldn’t answer the questions Rick wanted to ask her.

“No, no, don’t ‘Rick’ me, you left. I thought protecting one another was what we did. I needed you, and you just left.” Dakota was right, she lowered her head as Rick poured his frustration.

 

“You stopped being able to protect us, people were dying, and you changed. You started losing your mind, it felt different, you lost yourself.” She tried to justify herself but it all came out sounding wrong, as she heard her own reasoning she realised how bad it would sound to anyone else.

 

“You gave up on me, no one else did. Everyone else stuck by and you ran away, just stopped trying.” Rick continued and the guilt piled on more.

 

“Then why do you still care? If I was such a shitty girlfriend, why do you care? You better get ready for a fight because it’s going to happen soon, Negan will be here soon, if I’m the bait then so be it.” Dakota snapped at him.

 

“You don’t get it Dakota.” Rick half groaned and half sighed out of sheer frustration.

 

“I do, Rick. You loved me. I get it… I loved you too, part of me still does in ways, but I couldn’t stay. I’m only now realising how bad it was of me to not give you a reason, I never said that I was sorry, I hardly even said goodbye.”

 

“I wanted to protect you, Dakota. That’s all I wanted.” Rick looked at her, and she could see the truth in his eyes staring right into her soul.

 

“Do you still want to protect me?” She asked sheepishly.

 

“I do, but how can I if you’re on their side?”

 

Silence fell for a few moments, and it felt like every unsaid thing swarmed around the two ex-lovers, circling them like they were caught in a whirlpool and couldn’t swim up.

 

“Through everything, all I want to do right now is hold your hand – but it feels like we’re a million miles away from one another. Did you… did you somehow meet Negan before you left me? Be honest with me, out on a lone run or a walk – did you know you were leaving me for him?” Rick was hurting inside, his chest felt tight and his head hurt. His duty was to protect his people, but Dakota was considered a traitor now among many of them, and he was torn between wanting to forgive her and wanting to blame her.

 

“I met him after I left you and Alexandria, not before. We can’t hold hands, that won’t fix us. I’m sorry, Rick Grimes.” Dakota sighed out the last inhale of cigarette smoke and stubbed the butt out hard on the ground next to her.

 

With that, Rick breathed in sharply as though he needed to catch his breath – the way a person does before they let grief consume them. He nodded, and stood up.

 

“I’ll let you say goodbye to Negan, before I kill him.” Rick’s words were filled with sadness and resentment, and with that he turned his back and left the cell, leaving Dakota alone.


End file.
